five_nights_at_freddys_fanonfandomcom-20200223-history
Comments for Fazbear Entertainment
Excerpts from the official "Fazbear Entertainment" website, in the comments of the "Tell us about your experience!" section, archived moments before Fazbear Entertainment disabled commenting, and purged the entire comment section. Sensitive information has been removed. MikrophoneSchmidht: Shit pay. Shit job. Shit benefits. I nearly got my arm ripped off by the rabbit. All that for 120 bucks. 0/10, would not recommend. Don't take the job, guys. ThotBegoner6: SOME KID FUCKING SHAT ON THE FLOOR WHAT THE HELL JESUS FUCKING CHRIST WHY THE FUCK WHY WOULD ANYONE DO THAT WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK WHY THE HELL DON'T YOU PEOPLE HAVE RULES AGAINST THAT WHY THE HELL ISN'T THERE A RULE AGAINST SHITTING ON THE FLOOR Imno-Furre621: '' flagged as inappropriate'' I want to fuck the chicken Xx_FritzTheShitz_xX: Fazbear Entertainment? More like, terrible. The "Pepperoni Surprise" was bland, the crust was cardboard-ish, the sauce tastes like blood, and the cheese keeps looking at me. I don't even know how the hell that works. Atleast the toy they gave me along with the meal was nice, 2/10 for the awesome Fazbear Figurine. TheMannyHimself: please call 911 this is an emergency my phones out and the only website i can access on this company computer is this i am at the freddy fazbears pizzeria on REMOVED street and i think an intruder has broke intothe plac;e pleas help someone bagning on my door p AnimuWasAMistaku: '' '' Yo guys new nightguard here, quick question. Why do y'all only got Minesweeper and Solitaire on the Company Computers? Like, download some Fortnite or some shit, man. Spent 30 minutes trynna draw dicks using Minesweeper flags. ThuyenTheGreat:'' flagged as spam'' Can anyone read some more of my stuff on the wiki please this isn't part of the actual article just wanna do some shameless plugging ok thanks. EDIT: Come on guys why would you flag me :C SurburbanHousewife53: I took my kid here today, the food was okay, but the animatronic shows were simply frightful! One of them suddenly stopped and started chanting backward. Then one of them went up to my kid, who was crying, and demanded him for human sacrifice! I'm never coming back. The waiters were terribly rude. Xx_FritzTheShitz_xX: I take back my previous assessment. The figure just broke after 3 hours. So That'll be a 0/10 from me. EDIT: I just realized that I can go as far as -∞/10 so that's that. SCIYgad: Hey, I don't mean to alarm, I work as a dayshift guard for the Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria over on REMOVED street. And I've been getting reports of grunting and heavy breathing, accompanied with the sounds of clanking metal in the Parts and Services room. Now, I don't wanna put it so bluntly, but I'm pretty sure ''someone is trying to bang the Toy Chica animatronic. Imno-Furre621: '' flagged as inappropriate I'm trying to bang the Toy Chica animatronic.ouO Bobbytehfrddyfan: hello mr ffp owner can you please add my character to the show thanks also can you add undertale characters please please please my birthday is coming up ps if you dont my dad will fire you he owns microsoft bobby, 8 years old DocumentedPsycho: MIKE IS STEALING THE FUCKING COFFEE. I REPEAT. MIKE IS FUCKING STEALING THE COFFEE. I SUSPECT HE'S STEALING THE DONUTS TOO. MIKE MUST BE STOPPED. William Afton CEO: How to dispose of small corpses, but don't worry, this is like, hypothetical and all that shit. I don't have a 5 year old dead kid in need of disposing right now next to me haha that would be absurd. William Afton CEO: wAIT THIS ISN'T GOOGLE. William Afton CEO: delete message. William Afton CEO: Fuck. ChristmasBitchass: Just found out they serve Pineapple pizza here. This is literally the most illegal shit you guys've pulled. I'm callin the FBI. #PizzaWithoutPineappleGang #Blessed #NoPlaceForPineapples #RightHereOfficer Dating Sex Site: Flagged as spam I banged 5 girls last week with this GREAT DATING APP! CLICK HERE TO JOIN! THIS IS NOT A BOT, NO SCAM, NO SIGN UP, NO BULL SHIT! www.REMOVED.com Henry Smith CEO: Merry Christmas, everyone! For the holidays, we are giving out free coupons for 2-for-1 combos! Visit your nearest Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria today! ScruffyButTuffy: Hey uh, janitor for FFP here. Can someone please advise the employees to not spill so much blood marinara sauce on the floors? I'm running out of mops. MikrophoneSchmidht: I just had to piss in a soda cup because this location apparently has no bathrooms. After I leave, I'm having a nice long talk with the Better Business Bureau. ThotBegoner6: WHAT THE FUCK YOU SICK FUCKERS WHY THE FUCK DIDN'T YOU TELL ME ABOUT THE FACT THAT THE ANIMATRONICS ARE FUCKING FURRY TERMINATORS YOU FUCK IF I GET OUT OF THIS ALIVE IM GETTING LEGAL ON YOUR ASS AH FUCK WHERES THE BEAR WHAT THE FU Henry Smith CEO: Let this be a reminder for employees to NOT use the Company Computers to browse sites that I'm 90% sure are illegal. We don't need to be associated with this "Shadrick" or whatever his name is. 4Chan's just off limit. Imno-Furre621: '' flagged as inappropriate, user banned.'' *Notices Foxy's bulge* Owo What's this? Mmmm lemme nuzzle that good UwU. AnimWasAMistaku: Yo guys, just played a hilarious prank on one of the customers lol. birthday boi was allergic to tomatos. guess what I got him? Boom. Tomato Pizza. Hid it all under the cheese. He's gon get one hell of a surprise. Awesome, right? William Afton CEO: STOP TRYING TO GET THE PINEAPPLE PIZZA BACK ON THE MENU YOU FUCKS I'M ALREADY IN TROUBLE FOR TAX EVASION, CHILD MURDER, AND POSSESSION OF ILLEGAL FIREARMS. I ALREADY GOT THE CIA, THE FBI, AND HALF THE US GOVERNMENT BREATHING DOWN MY NECK. I DON'T NEED THE DAMN PIZZA COPS ON MY BACK TOO. THE PINEAPPLE PIZZA STAYS OFF THE DAMN MENU. IT WON'T COME BACK. '''IT WON'T FUCKING COME BACK.' SCIYgad: HELP SEND HELP LITTLE TIMMY IS FUCKING DYING FROM AN ALLERGIC REACTION SEND AN AMBULANCE OH GOD THE KIDS DYING FUCK FUCK FUCK LariloriroliraL: Heya! Just took a new job at the new Freddy Fazbear's Pizzeria down in London! Looking for tips, what should I, a lowly nightguard do to pass the time? :) Someone even left me a nice, cool cup a' soda on my desk. How thoughtful! EDIT: Wasn't soda. I don't know what it was, but it tasted like hot piss. Not saying I know what hot piss tastes like. I have not sampled hot piss. William Afton CEO: Okay, that's it. I'm closing this shit down. The cop's closing in and I don't need this bundle of evidence strapped to my back. Site closing in an hour. On an unrelated note. Anyone got a paper shredder? I'm in need of disposing some "questionable" information. EDIT: Nevermind, plain water worked a charm. Pizza Cops Unit 19345387 COPS USA: ''User banned. We heard reports of pineapple pizzas being served here. That's enough to warrant a death penalty. Can anyone confirm? William Afton CEO: Oh, FUCK off. Category:Stories